I feel like writing a million things today. I told my friend that I could write a book, but it would be composed of one-sentence paragraphs. My thoughts are disjointed (thus the silly - but true - "Confession" entry earlier today).
I had a conversation last night with a friend of mine. Some of you that read this will know him; others will not. I'd made some silly comment about how cute one of his pictures was - it was of him and his wife. He rambled on about how happy he was in his marriage. I must admit, I'm happy for him.
But I'm dubious. How do you get to a marriage, much less a happy one?
I'm jaded; I've dated a real bunch of... uh... losers. To put it mildly. Marriage does not seem to me like a happy ending, but more like something to be avoided at all costs.
Ok, rant over.
Tomorrow is just an office day; no school groups. Should be quiet. Maybe my boss will be back from her 2-week bout with bronchitis.
Mushing in Denali
View of Denali from the Wonder Lake Ranger Station, Denali National Park and Preserve
Pasque Flowers at Paradise, Mount Rainier National Park
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I think each person has to find their own path. For some people marriage is not something that they want. For some people, its a perfect fit. In many cases, I think it has to do with who that person is with, and whether or not they've found their soul mate (which of course, you can tell I believe in too). :) No, I don't think there's just one soul mate out there for everyone, but I do think that there are a few distinct matches that fit best. I'm not the most experienced person, having been married since I was just 18, but in my mind, marriage is just a legal definition for a long-term relationship. It comes with complications, complacency at times, and conflict. But - it also comes with commitment, and security, friendship, silliness, passion, and a real love you don't have to worry about ever going away (at least in most cases). Again, I think its something that each person has to feel out for themselves if it is a path they want to go down. There are SO many paths out there, so many lifestyles, so many ways of living, that its silly to expect everyone to come to the same conclusion or be happy with the same result. Whatever you feel is right for you IS. *hugs* :)
ReplyDeleteNo, marriage to a loser would not be a happy ending.
ReplyDeleteYou are in charge of whether your ending is happy or not. Friends, best friends, lovers, pets: they should all enhance your happiness, not be the cause of it. Marriage may not be right for you (now or ever) but it doesn't determine happiness. Anymore than a box of GS cookies. ;)
It can be so easy to become jaded when you are riddled with bad experiences. It can be really scary to accept that there can be good things, even though they can be hard work to get to them, and to keep them.
ReplyDeleteHappiness comes in many forms, it is what you make it. For some, it's not meant to be. I only recommend being open to possibilities and not let the past determine ALL of the future. You have to keep some things in mind, of course, so some things are not repeated, but...you never know who may come knocking. :) ahem. Or thumping, or banging.
I had some bad marriages, but it wasn't til I found DH that I found out why. I didn't LIKE them! Had all the usual heart flutters and body heat, but didn't like them. Dh and I went into our marriage as friends, with a commitment to make it work. The heart flutters and increased body heat have been a nice addition. We are coming up on 16 yrs, and ..for the most part...I still like him.
ReplyDeleteMy advice would be to look for a friend and see what happens.
I'm not looking. That was my friend's criticism. I gave up a long time ago.
ReplyDeleteJen, don't worry. I figure what's meant to be will be. In the meantime I'm not going to waste my time "hunting" for someone that I may never find...instead I'm going to enjoy being single and kidless! =) There are so many things that I can do that my friends can't because of their commitments (spouse and/or kids). They can't just pick up and go like I can. So I think we're actually fortunate. Enjoy it while you can! =)
ReplyDelete